mary’s blog

(where mary is always write)

Why I Hate Fridays

Once a week, I come home from work and open Gmail to find this:

gmail

Gmail

Initially, I wonder why everyone is offline. Then I remember that it’s past office hours. People aren’t on gtalk, they’re on Facebook!

I skip over to Facebook to check what everyone is up to, preparing to defend my wall against snarky and witty comments from “friends”:

facebook

Facebook

Nothing. No new activity.

This is impossible. Where are the narcissistic pictures of people from flattering and totally misleading angles? The check-ins at expensive places? The cat videos? The sappy, LOVE-YOU-BEH posts from people who just a month ago swore never to fall in love again?!

Is Facebook down? Is the world ending? Are zombies finally walking the earth?

I check my RSS feed for news of a technological disaster or zombie apocalypse:

RSS

Still nothing.

No sensationalist, doomsday articles like “Facebook Down: Is This The End of Social Media?” or “Man Caught Munching On Someone’s Arm – Is the ZA Finally Here?”

Everything is quiet. Unusually so. Not even a small article about how Apple plans to innovate by making the iPhone’s screen 0.0001 mm wider.

Déjà vu sets in and I start to panic. Because I’ve seen this before and I know what will happen next: I shall open Twitter and confirm my worst fears.

Twitter

I quickly scan the hashtags: drinking, partying, dating… I grab a calendar just to be sure.

Yep. It’s Friday night. Again.

Everyone is busy having a life. Again.

Everyone except me. Again.

I click desperately on the refresh icon, waiting for a new email. A new notification. A new post… but nothing comes except a crushing sense of loneliness.

In the pits of depression, I do the only thing I could. Despite knowing that it’s useless. Despite swearing that I’ll never do it again:

 

I hold a giant pizza party for myself.

 

ordering pizzas

*fictional pizza ordering site

I pass out between the 9th and 10th slices and wake up the morning after with a massive bacon pizza hangover. The sight of the giant box reminds me of my stupidity and once again, I promise never ever to repeat last night’s recklessness.

And with each bite of cold, leftover pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my hatred for Friday grows and grows.

Ω

There are 6 reactions to this story, leave yours below?

  1. Waldemar Bautista on September 17, 2012

    *uboomochaubo*

    Hehehe.

    • Mary on September 18, 2012

      May work pa rin kami kapag weekend eh. Malungkot nga lang talaga ang Friday night dahil parang enjoy na enjoy yung ibang tao. 😛

      • Waldemar Bautista on September 21, 2012

        Mukha lang silang nage-enjoy. Padala ka naman ng pizza sa amin. Hehe.

  2. Rystraum Gamonez on September 27, 2012

    Share naman ng pizza diyan.

  3. Maxine on November 2, 2012

    LOL, that’s funny, Mary!

    (It is. It really is. I hate you, Mary, you write so well.)

  4. Kristine Mae on April 13, 2013

    Those freehand-looking snapshots sure are funny. Mary and her geeky humor. I’m starting to become one of your “Ten True Fans”. 😛


Warning: Undefined variable $commenter in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 296

Warning: Trying to access array offset on value of type null in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 296

Warning: Undefined variable $commenter in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 301

Warning: Trying to access array offset on value of type null in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 301

Leave a Reply to Kristine Mae Cancel reply

All fields marked with * are required. Don’t worry. Your email address will not be published or entered into internet lotteries.

Get mary’s tall tales right in your RSS feed. Share this epic tale of lies on twitter! Read in the dark. Ack! This cursed pinkness! Manlify this blog!