mary’s blog

(where mary is always write)

Why Is My Mom Obsessed With Magic Mops?

My mom is obsessed with Magic Mops. (No more wringing!)

Magic Slipperrags. (Made of scrap cloth! Mop the floor just by walking around the house!)

Magic Food Containers with calendars. (Mark the date you refrigerated the food! No more guessing if your sinigang is spoiled!)

Magic Juicers. (So healthy juice for benefit and family health happiness.) [I LOLed]

And more… a lot more.

There’s a certain spring in her step when she comes home from work holding a Japan Home shopping bag. From the way she pulls out her purchases and explains what they’re for, you’d think she found the Holy Grail or something.

There’s no sense in reminding her that the last Magic Mop had such a magically short life (one week). Or people forgot to adjust the food-keeper’s calendar so we ended up eating 2-week sinigang by mistake anyway.

Our house is like a graveyard for my mom’s broken and unused Home Improvement Center doodads. But she keeps buying more every week, refusing to be cowed by that broken Magic Juicer. Or the giant bruise on her daughter’s leg from spending one afternoon skating around the house with the Magic Slipperrag. (Don’t judge. It sounded like a good idea at the time.)

I used to scratch my head over my mom’s obstinacy and misplaced optimism about these fake, gimmicky products. But then I spent a month at home, and I can now see why she’s eager to try the next Super Mom thing.

You guys:

HOUSEKEEPING IS FREAKING DIFFICULT.

Like juggling a hundred different things on your mind. Except… nothing. It really is like juggling a hundred different things on your mind. Right now, my mom is probably thinking:

What should I cook for dinner? Whoops. Gotta buy more trashbags. Hmm… When was Mary’s last dental appointment? Ack. Must buy fabric conditioner. Why is my son not home yet? Buy toothpaste. Why is Calee not speaking to her sister again? Did they fight? Ask Mary. But not while she’s doing computer stuff. Replace that curtain. Do I still have enough hypertension meds until the weekend? Buy fruits. When did I last mop this kitchen. OMG, my in-laws are visiting tomorrow! When did Mary last eat. Why does the refrigerator smell like hell.

It’s enough to drive anyone mad!

Mad enough to try anything that *promises* a little improvement and hope that this (786th) time, it will actually work.

She’s been doing this crazy, housekeeping thing for more than twenty years now. No wonder she can’t tell the difference between Magic Product and Not-So-Great Idea anymore.

Hell, I’ve only been home for a month, and I already injured myself on a pair of (harmless-looking) slippers. But did that stop me from tagging along to Japan Home last week? Of course not!

Because I’m starting to understand my mom now. About how useful these Magic Products can be.

You see, there’s this Magic Hanger thing, and if your cabinet is cramped like mine… magic-hanger

Ω

This tall tale is filed under Stories.

There are 2 reactions to this story, leave yours below?

  1. Calee on June 7, 2013

    Ossom mummy is ossom! <3 <3 <3

    • Mary on June 7, 2013

      Pffft. My mom is loads better than your mom.

Leave a Reply

All fields marked with * are required. Don’t worry. Your email address will not be published or entered into internet lotteries.

Get mary’s tall tales right in your RSS feed. Share this epic tale of lies on twitter! Read in the dark. Ack! This cursed pinkness! Manlify this blog!