5 Reasons Not To Get A Cat
- They will boss you around. You don’t own cats. Cats own you.
- They will attack and destroy any hanging piece of fabric: curtain, tablecloth, shirtsleeves, etc; along with your home’s sense of peace. One thread of sanity at a time.
- They will pounce on your legs or any vulnerable part of your body when you’re doing something precarious. Like balancing a cup of hot coffee or flipping porkchops in hot oil.
- They will scratch you and bite you during “play time”. Naturally, the wounds will require rabies and tetanus shots.
- Lastly (and this needs a separate entry for itself), the tetanus shots… are administered via your butt cheeks.
If you still want to get a cat, just remember to wear something nice to the E.R. (You’ve been warned.)