mary’s blog

(where mary is always write)

Mary Questions Zombie Reproduction

I was writing a zombie-related post today and started thinking about the definition of life.

In biology class, anything which can [1] grow and [2] create more individuals of the same species (i.e. reproduce) are considered alive. Focusing on [2], if zombies bite people to create more zombies, is biting = zombie reproduction?

And if a zombie bites an unwilling human, does it count as rape?

Plus if a zombie can bite both male and female humans and still end up with a new zombie, does this make zombies hermaphrodites?

Then if a girl is up at 3AM on a Monday reading a book where zombies bite people, does that count as reading corn?

Disturbing thoughts, Dear Reader. Disturbing thoughts.


There are 2 reactions to this story, leave yours below?

  1. Levi on July 2, 2012

    I’d say it’s the virus/parasite that causes the zombification is the one that’s alive. The virus reproduces and shit, but the zombie itself is just a host. Also, zombies can’t grow, afaik.

    • mary on July 2, 2012

      I wasn’t sure zombies were alive. But I was curious how they satisfy #2 of the requirements for live organisms (if at all).

      I also considered the virus angle but not all zombie stories use the virus theory. It’s a good excuse though and it solves the corn question nicely so thanks for bringing that up.

Warning: Undefined variable $commenter in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 296

Warning: Trying to access array offset on value of type null in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 296

Warning: Undefined variable $commenter in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 301

Warning: Trying to access array offset on value of type null in /home/marymaca/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/manlymary/functions.php on line 301

Leave a Reply

All fields marked with * are required. Don’t worry. Your email address will not be published or entered into internet lotteries.

Get mary’s tall tales right in your RSS feed. Share this epic tale of lies on twitter! Read in the dark. Ack! This cursed pinkness! Manlify this blog!