mary’s blog

(where mary is always write)

Jealous Mary Is Jealous

Last week, I saw this post on Facebook where a pretty, young girl congratulated my high school crush for passing the board exam. Despite having no contact with said crush for years, I was jealous.

jealous mary (close enough)


And it’s not just the simple, smile-with-regret-and-move-on type of jealousy. It’s the full-blown, Bitter Bitch Is Crazy kind. The one where you make faces at the screen while reading all the comments out loud in a high-pitched monologue, stopping every once in a while to roll your eyes at everything.

In the middle of that crazy fit, Jealous Mary kept thinking, that should have been me.

Taking the oath. Appending Engr to my name. Being congratulated by, well, not young and pretty girls, but hot and smexy Oppas.

Who would’ve thought I’d come to hate my crush for passing an exam?

I don’t even want to work in the field. Getting the license is low in my list of priorities for now. I just want that title and the respect that comes with it because I’m having trouble understanding the real world.

All the unicorn, rainbow lessons about being sincere in your work, believing in the impact of what you do, and valuing learning experiences over acquiring dry diplomas that focus on theory… didn’t apply. It still is all about who you know and how many acronyms come after your name.

Even if you mean well. Even if you want to do good. Even if you worked your ass off and actually built something versus, y’know, collecting titles and bashing someone else’s work.

Those acronyms sure are impressive.

Maybe, in the future, I’ll name my third* kid John PhD or Jenna ChE to give him/her a head start in life. It’s too late for me. I have to survive this world the hard way.

I just hope my conscience is stronger than my jealousy.


* My first two kids will be called Madness and Sparta.**
** A lot of people will think they get this but only one person will.


There are 6 reactions to this story, leave yours below?

  1. Guerdon Bloodheart on September 4, 2012

    this made me smile. you write as impeccable as you always were. forgot to give my congratulations to your batch. still, you should be proud being a licensed engineer. we physicists dream big, but it’s the engineers who make those dreams real. good luck with sparta and madness. maybe they’ll be twins. mas bagay. 🙂

    • Mary on September 4, 2012

      Salamat Sir Tabs! But uhm… I *didn’t* take the exam. Kaya naiinggit ako kay crush. 🙂
      I want (chose?) to be a web designer/developer/programmer. I want to hear problems and solve them by coding, find persistent little bugs, launch apps, watch how it affects users… you get the idea. 😀
      I just thought that accomplishing those things would be enough to gain respect, but apparently… *sigh* I already mentioned it in the post. Trying to explain it will stress me again. Haha

      • Rystraum Gamonez on September 11, 2012

        Whenever I doubt the value of what I work on, I always remember this by Mark Weiser:

        “The most profound technologies are those that disappear. They weave themselves into the fabric of everyday life until they are indistinguishable from it.”

        It was in a message by Sir Roel when he stopped down as CC director. I don’t know if you received it, but I can send it to you to keep it handy when you’re feeling down. I read it once in a while myself.

        • Mary on September 16, 2012

          Ry! I just finished re-reading his farewell email-speech and it just made me more depressed. :'(

  2. Levi on September 15, 2012

    At first I saw this:

    * My first two kids will be called Madness and Sparta.**

    And then I saw this.

    ** A lot of people will think they get this but only one person will.

    Oh this made me chuckle.

    • Mary on September 16, 2012


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