The Problem With Kids These Days

The problem with kids these days is they don’t know how to appreciate nature and the outdoors. They don’t read enough books. They’re TV addicts. They’re impatient fatasses or malnourished model-wannabes.

And what’s worse, they’re saddled with hypocritical elders like us.

Yeah, it’s probably our fault.

If you’re part of the team who bulldozes forests to build malls and apartments, it’s your fault kids don’t know how to climb trees. (Take note: a puny little playground with grass isn’t a stand-in for “nature” either.)

If you’re part of the industry that studies how to make engaging websites, grab attention, and write content that makes people want to click on the next cracktastic post, it’s your fault kids have shorter attention spans.

If you’re part of the team that produces TV shows full of smartass one-liners, it’s your fault kids are rude.

It’s your fault for making video games so addictive, kids want to sit and play for hours on end. (Oh, and if you make those long, un-skip-able sequences that won’t let me save before a boss battle, I hate you.)

It’s your fault for making fastfood ads and taking gorgeous close-up shots of burgers too. Give yourself a pat on the back everytime you see a fat kid.

Take note: there’s nothing wrong with doing your job.

We need bridges and roads and more houses to support our growing population.

We need to make better games, the kind of games and consoles we wished we had when we were kids.

Heck, we all need Giant, Half-pounder Bacon Cheeseburgers. Screw healthy diets!

But working on those things and then complaining why kids these days don’t know any better makes you look stupid. (And it makes you undeserving of your paycheck. Give it to me instead!)

Can’t you just reminisce about how you enjoyed climbing trees, stealing mangoes, and reading paperbacks without bashing the current generation’s childhood? No?

How about I call your elders? Let them talk your ear off about how they woke up at 3AM, crossed a river, and climbed a mountain to go to school; how Dragon Ball Z is a stupid show with an even more stupid name; how you’re a useless lump who drives a mile to work instead of walking and so on…

Or, you know, you can just get off your high horse and accept that things are different now. It’s easier that way.

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